I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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