Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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