My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
