I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
