ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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