Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
