i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So much Jack, so little girl.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
