Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
do herpes really smell.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
