I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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