My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
