When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
