i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
