Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
