Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
