and you said cock pushups were impossible
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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