so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
