I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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