Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
