Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
