she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
