how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
