I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
