Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Alive.
So much puke
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
