Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
