I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
