I think i peed on brittanys purse
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
