well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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