remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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