whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
