hotel room ftw
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
