I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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