I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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