so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
