The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
