The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Christians are straight up FREAKS
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize