Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize