Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
