you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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