My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
