I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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