i would punch a child for taco bell
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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