Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I will pee on everything he values.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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