hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize