what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
