Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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