He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize