i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize