And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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