You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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