I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
