If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
