Dual....:-)
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
