i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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