Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
