He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
