So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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