i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
