He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
