also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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