therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
