When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
