hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
