Where is the hickey?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
