Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
